I'm Cilia, Web Designer/Brand Strategist
I harness the power of Self Expression to create Brand Strategies and Websites for Impactful Women.
I am on a mission to help you confidently step into your leadership so you can live the life you love.
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5 Tips: Becoming Fully Self Expressed
If you’ve clicked onto this post, you might be wondering how you can start becoming for fully self expressed.
This has been a huge journey that I’ve gone on in my life. The journey never ends because there’s always somewhere to improve. That is a beautiful thing because it’s a goal you can always be striving towards.
But what does becoming fully self expressed really mean?
Is it the ability to say F*** off to the toxic people in your life? Would it be asking your boss for the raise you actually deserve?
This would be the first place to start so you can have a goal to work towards.
To understand my self expression journey, I’ll take you back to my childhood. I always had food, a home, clean clothes, all of the essentials. But I was restricted.
My parents meant well in being strict, but that meant holding back my true self. A lot.
If you grew up with strict parents, you know what I mean.
Maybe you went through a “wild phase” where you thought it was you finally becoming fully self expressed.
But now you’ve come to a point where something’s gotta give.
Coming at you on my 31st birthday, I have 11 years of time to reflect on me taking control of my life. At 20, I moved out and slowly started coming out of my shell.
And I mean slowly.
I didn’t feel completely in my own power until 25. And it took a messy break up at 29 to really break through to another level.
While the journey is never ending, I can be proud of myself when I look back because I am WAY more self expressed today than I have ever been in my life.
To keep these tips to myself doesn’t feel right, so without further ado, let’s learn our 5 tips to becoming more self expressed!
Becoming Fully Self Expressed with Journaling
This is the place where I used to dream as a kid. I would write down the things I wanted, what kind of life I wanted to have, the boys I had crushes on.
But living with two younger siblings, and strict parents who yes, they read my diary, meant I didn’t keep this up.
Now that I have, wow. A journal is a must have to pour out your thoughts, reflect on who you are, and just work on whatever you might be going through.
An amazing form of journaling I was recently introduced to is a practice that might feel weird at first but will definitely infuse some confidence in you.
Write down something you are proud of yourself for and why. Then do it again. And again. Keep going for about ten minutes.
Now step back and look at how awesome you are babe!
If you’re like me, you might always be focused on the next goal ahead. This practice is a nice reminder to look back and celebrate your wins.
Become Fully Expressed with Your Breath
Having a breathing practice is so essential. Literally for anyone, no matter what you want to accomplish.
But in the space of becoming fully self expressed, a breathing practice will give you space to accept yourself.
This tool is something you can do anywhere, at any time.
I have even gone to the bathroom during social events to do this (because, hi introvert over here)
There are a few practices you can do to find out what works best for you. I’ll write those all up in a separate blog post here.
Once you practice being aware of your breath, you’ll have the tools to calm yourself down at the next meeting, presentation, salary negotiation, or whatever situation you want to be fully self expressed in.
Omg, when I discovered affirmations and started using them, it changed the game for me!
You can play affirmations on a low volume while you work, while you sleep, while you cook. You can even say them to yourself in your head while you brush your teeth.
The only thing I will say is be careful to choose the right affirmations. This means you might have to take baby steps to where you want to be.
For example, if you don’t believe you’re a leader saying “I am a leader” won’t be a good one for you because right after you’ll literally think “oh yeah right, no I’m not”
Shifting it to “I am on the path to becoming a leader” would be more accepted by your subconscious.
You literally get to rewrite your internal dialogue with affirmations. And thoughts are POWERFUL.
In fact, I listened to health affirmations while I slept every night in March when COVID anxiety was high. I say these to myself once in a while especially at the first signs of feeling a little off.
Healing your Past
This could be a big, hairy, scary thing you might have avoided before. Yes, it’s uncomfortable but in not doing this you are costing yourself the life that you truly want.
The reward of going through this discomfort is HUGE. You are a transformed human on the other side.
So how to we do this?
First, use your journal. Reflect. Let everything out.
Then try to look at just the facts of a situation. No meaning or emotions attached. This can help you realize that the other person meant no harm.
If you’re like “What are you talking about Cilia?”, here is a personal example for you:
In childhood I had to teach myself how to ride a bike in the grass. I had asked my parents to teach me but they were always busy or working. This hurt little Cilia and I felt unloved.
But, taking the emotions out and looking at the facts:
My parents worked a lot to give me a beautiful life. I was SO loved and that is why they didn’t have the time to teach me. Looking at it this way I can also be grateful that it molded me into a person that can teach herself new skills.
Second, let’s give the people that have hurt us credit for the good things to.
This is something I recently heard on the Netflix documentary of Tony Robbins “I am not your guru” and it’s so tranformational.
Often times we blame and get stuck with all the ways someone hurt us in the past.
But, I guarantee you that pain brought you a lesson, skill, or some sort of awakening.
Here’s a personal example:
I used to resent my parents for not supporting me financially. Once I turned 18, it was “you pay for all your own things now”. After my first three months of college, they sat me down and told me they couldn’t afford my tuition.
I was SO determined to get a degree that I worked two jobs and paid my way through college.
Instead of blaming them for the sacrifice to my social life, or how annoying it was to have to miss out on fun family things to work… I can give them SO MUCH CREDIT.
I give them credit for making me good with money. For me not having any student debt to pay. They can be credit with my respect for money and my ability to be responsible with it. Also, when you need to work a lot in college it keeps you out of trouble. This nerd went to ZERO college parties.
Be Your Biggest Cheerleader
The most powerful person you can have in your corner is yourself. If you can love, respect, and cherish yourself: everyone else will to.
Look into what you say to yourself in your own head. Talk to yourself like you would talk to your best friend.
Make time to have a date with yourself. This could be cooking yourself a meal, cozying up with a book, taking a warm bath. Self care is healing.
Most of all, be patient and do NOT put yourself down.
Your brain loves you and any negative thought really is to protect yourself essentially from death. That is the ego in us. So you can kindly tell any mean dialogue “Thank you for protecting me, but I am (insert opposite of the negative thought you just had here)”
This includes fears. Fears are really an illusion of protecting ourselves from death. Public speaking isn’t going to kill you but if you keep running from it, it will always terrify you. Facing it will be uncomfortable but continue working out that muscle and it becomes easy one day.
Lean into your fears and cheer yourself on along the way. That’s probably the most important tip in this post. If something is terrifying you, there is something there.
Who would you be if you weren’t afraid of X, Y, and Z? What could you accomplish? How would you show up in life.
Fear is simply the opposite of curiosity and trust. So get curious about what you’re afraid of and purposely do that thing so you can grow. You never know what that can open up.
I did this with public speaking and that opened up for me being a yoga teacher, creating beach clean up events, being more confident in interviews, I could go on and on…
Where are you on your journey to becoming fully self expressed?
If you want to create a business or even just up level your life, learning how to express yourself more fully can be a good place to start.
This will help you build a brand that aligns with your values, or go after the career that will actually make you happy.
I’ve found in my own journey, the more aligned I’ve become with my true expression, the easier things I am meant to do unfold.
I hope these tips have helped you! I would love to know where you are on your journey and if there is anything you are stuck with so I can help you take control!! Follow me on the gram @selfexpressedbabe and send me a DM.
Thank you for reading, sending love!
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